When Life mugs you with randomness (II)
Tuesday, August 25th, 2009Knowing there was an increased chance of it happening didn’t make much of a difference to the shock, but having been through this before has helped us feel less lost.
In the late evening of Sunday 23rd August, our baby (Jack Owen Yandell) left the womb at the tiny age of 17.5 weeks since conception. Far too young for anything to be done about it - he was still months from being able to survive without his mother and the sudden and unexpected departure from the womb was far more than his body could handle even if he could.
For the second time I cut one my son’s umbilical cord - a world of difference in the context. The placenta came out fine, as did the-damn-IUD (you say it all in one word, deep south style). No emergency room was needed and we spent the subsequent day between doctor and hospital taking care of Carrie. Nathan and Levi both held up superbly and had a short trip to the zoo while Carrie was in surgery.
Today we took them both to the funeral home. Nathan wanted to see baby-Jack, seemed to be clear enough on the subject and did superbly. Very proud. It’s so much better to see your baby than have the absence we had with Abigail, and I’m happy that Nathan was able to have the better experience. Watching a four-year old boy carry his dead baby brother back to the undertaker has to be the most heart-wrenching thing I’ve ever experienced though. On a par with explaining to a four-year old boy that the baby he’s talked about so much over the last 2 months is gone.
The vagaries of chance swung far too much each way for this little one, and he’ll always be remembered.

